Do not let people take advantage of you.

You will find people like these from all walks of life and the worse thing is, some of them are not even aware that they are in some way causing others harm or pain. For them, they as long as you agreed, then all is fine. But there are those who conciously do it for the sake of convenience, these are people who you cannot expect to change and sadly, some of them are indeed close friends and loved ones.

I've been through the same doormat experience where people 'use' me for something and forget about 'thank you' or at least being sensitive. I used to avoid confrontations myself but there came a point when I just couldn't take it any more.

I knew I had to assert myself because these people obviously were asserting more than themselves so I did the same. All it took was a simple 'no' from me; a simple setting of limits really helped. I found out that I was too afraid that I would be rejected by people if I were to assert myself or that they may like me less but what I learned is, nothing changed. My relationships even got better because now, they learned how to respect me as an individual. I also learned that there are some favors that can work for you and all you have to ask if it's OK and don't ever forget to say 'thank you'.

There are those who suddenly did not talk to me when I started saying 'no' to favors and from what I learned from others, these people are manipulative and are being shunned by others as well (especially those who knew that they were taking advantage of others). They would pretend to be good friends but they need something from you and as soon as you refuse, they make you feel like a hostage because they would suddenly dissapear and even say some things that are not nice but hey, I don't care now, I've got REAL friends.

If you don't want people to trample over you, you've got to show them that you have dignity and that you respect yourself and that you demand no less when people are to approach you. And, don't forget, it doesn't hurt to say NO. It's OK to say 'no' to the good for you to say 'yes' to the best.

Happy new year!